"Christmas has its heroes, but it has its villains too;
Like the Grinch and Mr. Potter, and Ebenezer Scrooge.
Both Scrooge and Mr. Grinch turned away from greed,
But me and Mr. Potter know that's just what Christmas needs.
(chorus) I don't want a white Christmas,
Keep it if it's Blue,
I just want a green Christmas,
Gold and silver, too.
Grinch's heart grew three sizes,
Scrooge learned to feed the poor.
But Potter's change of heart was left
On the cutting room floor.
The thing that kept him going
Was complete and utter greed,
Nor is my heart growing,
Because money's all I need.
(chorus)
I'm purposefully naughty
So Santa will bring me coal.
Before long, it's a diamond,
Which is worth more than even gold!
So I don't want a white Christmas,
Keep it if it's Blue,
I just want a green Christmas,
Gold and silver, too.
There's the rub, there's the rub, there's the rub."
So yeah... kinda evil. Maybe not as evil as bribing Mrs. Claus with hot sex so that she'll convince Santa to bring the narrator condoms and Plan B pills... or maybe it is. Either way, neither narrator is me.