A Futuristic Father’s Day, by Roy Hudson
It’s Father’s Day, and I just found out that I’m… going to be one. Most guys in this position find out from a loving girlfriend or wife telling the future dad that she’s pregnant… but I don’t even have a girlfriend right now. I found out… in the most unexpected way.
In the 25th Century museum I worked in as a janitor, there was an exhibit dedicated to the legendary hero, Rip Hunter, Time Master. When I met him, he was a little older than I was, and he enlisted my help to save something called the multiverse by traveling in time. If it sounds confusing, don’t worry. I’m still perplexed about it myself.
I came to find out that “Rip Hunter” was a pseudonym. All time masters (yes, there are more than one, believe it or not) have used false names in their adventures to keep their enemies from learning who their parents were, traveling back in time, and killing their mom before their parents even met. Just like in that movie The Terminator. I remember seeing it on the big screen in 2488… at my Uncle Larry’s house. There will be no movie theaters then, everyone has their own personal home “big screen.” Uncle Larry had a 2000” TV, which was inspired by an ancient (at the time) song by a legendary singer and comedian. You know the one.
So… where was I? Oh. The 25th Century. I got into some trouble as a college quarterback and lost my status as a role model. I did some illegal things that I’m not proud of… but Rip tells me it was my destiny, and that, in his eyes, at least, I have redeemed myself a million times over. Maybe history will remember me for these things, but I try not to dwell on that anymore. I don’t want to talk too much about myself if I can help it, though there was a time when that was my favorite activity.
After I got kicked out of school with my image tarnished, I took a lowly job cleaning a museum. It was in this museum that I learned about the 20th and 21st Century superheroes. So many generations of fans were inspired by them, and I have to admit, that’s what I wanted. I wanted to be recognized as a role model again, even though, in the beginning… I had to resort to dishonest means. I was so obsessed with the idea of being revered, I didn’t really know what it meant to be a hero.
With the assistance of the museum’s archive robot Skeets, I “borrowed” the famous Time Sphere, which was stored in the Rip Hunter exhibit, and used the future technology necessary to grant me the powers of flight and super strength. With these tools, I traveled back to the heyday of superheroes to make a name for myself. It wasn’t easy.
Aided by a scheming a man we later learned was a super villain, I weaseled my way onto the Justice League. The name inspires awe now, but then… it was a lineup of clowns, as far as the true heroes were concerned. Martian Manhunter was the only member who was taken seriously… by the super community, anyway. A lot of people hated him for the color of his skin. I guess it really is not easy being green. By the time this incarnation broke up, I was pretty sure I’d never be a true hero, and had to become a commercial mascot for any company that would have me. These were sad times.
Flash-forward to the time Skeets was possessed by an evil talking caterpillar named Mister Mind… (It’s a long story.) Rip approaches me, and I help him stop this worm from altering all of time and space… though we were a little late. His metamorphosis resulted in the creation of 52 different universes, which are similar to our own, but… not the same at all. Once this multiverse was created and Mister Mind defeated, it was up to me, Rip, the repaired Skeets, and an ancestor of mine who was known as the hero Supernova to police the time stream and fix the anomalies caused by the chronal butterfly.
It wasn’t easy. There were certain temptations that caused a lot of problems. My buddy, Blue Beetle, had been murdered by the same villain who had gotten me onto the Justice League all those years earlier, and I wanted to use the Time Sphere to prevent his death. He was my best friend, you know? But some things are destined to happen… and I had to lose my buddy all over again. Being a true hero means making sacrifices. Had I known how badly these sacrifices can hurt when I was a college reject, I likely would’ve stayed where I was. It’s a good thing nobody starts with all the answers, or else the hard lessons would deter us from ever learning. Rip said that… but then, he said his dad told him, so… It’s so confusing!
I don’t know why I’m rambling about the past. These adventures are irrelevant to the now. Maybe one day, these exploits will be chronicled in books (or maybe even comics), but Rip made me swear to secrecy. I became the Greatest Hero Never Known. It was frustrating, especially when I learned that you can’t use time travel to cheat death… not forever, anyway. But yeah… on to now.
About an hour ago, Rip came to me, in tears. I asked what was wrong, as he’d never been so emotional around me before. He told me his father, who had secretly been coaching him in our partnership for years, had died. His father told Rip that it was time for him to leave me, and fulfill his destiny as the famous Time Master, whose Time Sphere was to be put on display at the museum I worked at in the 25th Century. See… his father was an older version of me, and had raised Rip from birth to eventually become my mentor. I almost laughed when he said it, but he was weeping… It would’ve been in poor taste.
With some of the details out in conversation, Rip gave me a big hug, said, “Happy Father’s Day,” and got in the Time Sphere and blasted away. It’s a good thing we built a second Time Sphere, because he revealed that once he is born, I take him and his mother (whom I have yet to meet… as far as I know) throughout the Time Stream to teach him all that I know… most of which I learned from him before today. The more I think about it, the more drunk I feel.
And now that he’s gone, it’s just me and Skeets again. My ancestor, the one-time Supernova, went back to his own life in the 21st Century, which is where he belongs. When I asked Rip what I’m supposed to do after he leaves, he said he didn’t know. That was something his father (the old, dead one) never told him. Memories he didn’t want Rip to spoil for me, I guess. And so now, I have to take off the costume, go out, and… experience life. It’s going to be strange. I’m older now than I was in the 25th Century, and times are so much different. I came here to be famous. Now I want to live a normal life until the right woman comes along and bears my son… and that’s when the real adventure begins.
I have to protect my true identity now that I know I’m destined to be both a Time Master and the father of the most famous one. I still don’t know what Rip’s real name is… but I think I’ll name him after me. And since he was very much a father figure to me, I’ll entertain myself by adding, “Sr.” to the end of his name. That should confuse the doctors, I think.
This is Booster Gold, signing off.