Yesterday was May 4th: Star Wars Day. I leaped out of bed, pulled on my “Sith Happens” t-shirt, and went outside to greet any passersby.
“May the Fourth be with you,” I said.
The girl faked tears. “My mom was shot by Stormtroopers on May 4th!”
She may turn to The Dark Side, I thought.
“May the Fourth be with you,” I said.
The hottie replied, “The Fourth will be with you, always. As will I. Always.”
I know she was paraphrasing the movie (or maybe it was the Family Guy version?), but I still got a hard-on.
“May the Fourth be with you,” I said to a guy dressed as Darth Vader.
He held out his hand to Force-choke me. I played along, clutched my throat, and gasped before collapsing where I’d been standing. I hit my head on the concrete and gave myself a concussion. I spent the rest of Star Wars Day in the ER.
Oh, well. I can try again tomorrow: Revenge of the Sixth!
Cinco de Mayo flash
Two guys set out on May 5 longing for cheap beer. They flirted with a young Latina and got free bottles of Corona... smashed over their heads.